Hey. Flying sucks. I mean, sure, the whole concept of flying is pretty cool: you're boarding a giant iron dragon and hurtling through the air at unmentionable speeds, in the hopes that your rocket fuel gets you to Otherlandia before gravity catches on.
But the actual process of flying is less glamorous: stress, paperwork, more paperwork, unnecessary expense, forgetting things, broken headphones, hurry-up-and-wait, screaming children, and airline food. I mean, airline food. Yeah.
Anyway, here's how we cope... with the airline food, at least. Not much we can do about the headphones, sorry.
1. Fruit. You're going to be eating some unhealthy-ass shit on your flight, no matter how brief. Remind your body that there are nicer things in the world than "chicken Parmesan".
2. Edamame. Honestly, you'll probably find somewhere that does sushi. Skip the fish and treat yourself to a carton of these beauties.
3. Starbucks' fruit toast. Nice to eat at all times of day. Best paired with a big ol' bucket of black coffee.
4. Giraffe's huevos rancheros. Filling but not so heavy that you'll feel gross during your flight.
5. That Fancy Fish-Bar Place. Treat yo'self! Have a glass of champagne while you're at it. You deserve it!
1. Giraffe's huevos rancheros. I am super-obsessed with these. But, hey, they're good. And, bonus, Giraffe also has tasty hot sauce and real filter coffee. Basically all you need to have a complete gastric failure at 30,000 feet.
2. "Cheese". Schipol airport is super-weird, in that all the stores are unbranded. It is like walking onto the set of a bad movie - one where they couldn't afford the rights to any actual companies. But between the shops labelled 'Diamonds' and 'Gifts', there's also 'Cheese'. Big shops just filled with Dutch cheese. Which (sorry, Holland) isn't even that great, but see above - when you're flying, you make your own fun.
3. Jerky. Jerky is cow gum! A bag of it can last for at least a flight, and probably outlast your jaws' ability to chew it. Whatever that cheap brand is that comes in perfectly cut squares? Avoid that. Oh, another jerky thing - the first time you open the bag, it will belch forth the fetid odor of desiccated cow, like the breath of a zombie dragon. Probably best to do that before boarding.
4. Cinnabon. I don't understand why these aren't everywhere in the UK yet. I'm assuming there's some sort of EU/Human Rights/Gun Control/Socialist thing that prevents densely-packed sugarfat from being sold to minors. But, whatever. Cinnabon.
5. The Billy Goat Tavern
. I generally try to fly through O'Hare, and if you've ever been through O'Hare, you're probably really confused by this. But if I've got to change flights somewhere
, I want something to look forward to. And The Billy Goat
What about you? What foodstuffs make your flying fun?