Not long ago Jared and I got together with Rebecca Levene and watched the entire fourth series – all ten hours - of Game of Thrones in one long (very long) day. With a bonus eleventh hour; we started by watching the last episode of S3.
This is a real and true record of that day that I made up two weeks later.
Please note that this post contains HUGE SPOILERS for all four series of the television series and the first four books of A Song of Ice and Fire.
10 am: We arrive at Rebecca’s house, crack open a bag of Doritos, play with the cats, and gossip.
10.32 am: Bex asks whether we’re really going to watch the entire ten hours in one day. I begin chanting ‘game of thrones’ while punching the air with my fists.
10.37 am: We decide to begin with the final episode of S3, to remind ourselves where the show left off. We’re all fans of the books and well-steeped in ASoIaF minutiae but can’t remember exactly how S3 concluded.
10.42 am: ‘Mhysa’ (S3 E10): We talk though the boring (eg Sam) bits and then watch, jaws agape, as tiny white Danerys is lifted onto the shoulders of many, many not-white people, all chanting ‘mhysa’ (mother) at her. The camera spirals lovingly away while we wonder whether the GoT production crew were actually trying to create the Platonic ideal of easily gif-able racefail in modern premium television.
11.46 am: Good grief, that episode was 64 minutes long. And there was too little of the Hound, really. Bex’s cat Olli settles in for a long nap on Jared’s lap. I open another bag of Doritos. Bex asks whether we’re really going to watch ten more hours of television. I assure her that we’re not only going to watch ten more hours, but we’re not even going to fast forward through the opening titles ever BECAUSE WHAT IF THEY SHOW SOMEPLACE NEW.
11.50 am: ‘Two Swords’ (S4 E1). OMG THERE’S A COLD OPEN IS THIS A NEW THING (spoiler: no, it’s not; it’s the only cold open of the season.) During that cold open, in which Ned Stark’s sword Ice is reforged into two smaller, lesser swords, I wonder why someone is throwing a spice weasel into the fire. Neither Jared nor Bex can convince me it’s a wolfpelt. NOR CAN YOU SO DON'T EVEN TRY.