Excuse: I Just Got Dumped
I was (sobs) ready to write, but how... how am I going to put words on paper now? Even digital paper.
I mean (weeps) how COULD she? Everything was going so well and she had to leave me?! (writes badly-rhyming poem using the word "soul" six times) She had even forgiven me for that whole 'incident with the hooker's dog' thing... (sends thirty texts from disposable phones) We were even picking out our matching tongue studs! (sniffs stolen socks)
Clearly I can NOT be expected to write today. How could you be so insensitive - this was only 14 months ago!