Pornokitsch

1) Sex and violence galore! Why not start off with the fun stuff right away? If you've heard nothing else about Spartacus, you have probably heard that it is one of the most graphically sexual and violent shows in television history. You've most likely heard a bit about the orgies, the slave-assisted masturbation, the buckets of blood, the bodies ripped asunder in various, colorful ways. And this is all absolutely true. If you are just interested in getting a taste of that famous decadence and hedonistic delight that makes Rome such a super-fun place to dream about--if not actually to have lived in--then you are definitely in for a treat, because the show does not hold back at all. If it is full-frontal nudity and dismemberment you want, it is full-frontal nudity and dismemberment you shall receive. For people who may either be less interested in that aspect or even worried that the show will just be a collection of surface thrills, however, what makes Spartacus particularly great is that it isn't only about the sex and violence. The sex and violence definitely feature--often prominently--but think of them as but the icing on the layer cake. They are crucial and inextricable, but there is so much more going on beneath the surface than just softcore porn and hardcore battle.

2) The storytelling is layered and twisty. If there is one thing I wasn't expecting when I first started watching Spartacus it is that I would eventually be blown away by the depth of its storytelling. The first handful of episodes are beautiful to look at and are often intriguing, but seem relatively straightforward when it comes to plotting and characterization--on a first watch, at least. The emotions are big, broad, and operatic, but there are no true surprises at the start of the season. This all changes in the sixth episode, "Delicate Things," a brilliant and grim turning point in which all of the storytelling pieces that had been set in motion up to that point begin to pay off in astounding, truly operatic ways. From this point onwards, the plot never ceases to amaze and surprise. The writers, headed by the fantastic Stephen DeKnight (best known for his work on Buffy), weave together characters and threads that had only seemed unrelated. Meanwhile, thematic parallels between various plots begin to resonate on countless levels, and most impressively, viewer expectations are mercilessly turned against us in increasingly brutal and breathtaking ways. Narrative "rules" are broken. People die, sometimes horrifically. Things that aren't ever supposed to happen in a television drama, happen. Plot twists twist, untwist, and then retwist again when you least expect it--writerly acrobatics that make use of the classical definition of tragedy and dramatic irony, in a manner the likes of which few other shows, if any, have been able to match.

3) The dialogue is divine. Speaking of excellent writing, aside from the coitus and the barely clad gladiators and slave girls and the shocking massacres, one of Spartacus' most distinctive features is its gorgeous dialogue, which endeavors to approximate the Latin speech patterns of ancient Rome by use of mannered sentence construction and grandiloquent, heightened turns of phrase that are, by turns, highly poetic and blush-inducingly coarse--often at the same time. Our characters will let loose from their lips awe-inspiring strings of beautifully, intricately described vulgarities--dabbling liberally in metaphor and simile--that are practically Shakespearean in sound, tone, wit, and vicious bite. By Jupiter's cock (as they say on Spartacus), sometimes the writers seem to be having too much linguistic fun for their own good!

4) An emotionally accurate depiction of Ancient Rome. As with any production set in an earlier time period, there are varying critical responses as to how historically accurate Spartacus is, as far as the actual Spartacus' story, details and minutiae regarding the daily life of a Roman or a gladiator in a ludus, and so on and so forth. Whether or not the show nails every aspect of ancient Rome with complete accuracy, however, where it does deliver--and brilliantly at that--is in its depiction of Ancient Rome from an emotional perspective. Every episode masterfully explores what it really means to live in a society where one can, depending on his or her life situation, either own another human being or be owned by one, to a degree I have not seen in any other film or show. It shows us, in extreme, often painful depth, not only the psychological toll of not being in control of your own destiny, but also the sort of corruption to the soul that being someone else's master can cause. Spartacus examines the darkest implications of living in a bloodthirsty society with little to no regard for human life, where a twist of fate or circumstances can arbitrarily determine whether you are a ruler or a piece of property, and in which everyone is desperately clawing either to get to the top or to simply be free. Many previous works have depicted the stratification of Roman life but few have nailed the psychology behind the hierarchy for all involved to such powerful and devastating effect (while also making some pointed commentary about the less obvious human rights violations of own society, as well).

5) It looks gorgeous. And when I say gorgeous, I mean it. Besides the costumes and the sets, what really sets this show's visual style apart is how it is filmed and edited. Spartacus works around its relatively small budget by using a great deal of CGI. Instead of allowing that to let it look anything less than a first-class production, however, executive producers Rob Tapert, Sam Raimi (both of whom previously brought such beloved action-adventures shows as Hercules, Xena, and Legend of the Seeker to life), Joshua Donen, and Stephen DeKnight decided to use it to enhance and exaggerate the show's visual aesthetic, giving it a deliberately surreal look, particularly during its more gruesome fight scenes, that often make it seem to be the most splendiferously illustrated graphic novel of all time brought to life, reminiscent of the visual style of Zach Synder's 300, but with intelligence, meaning, and wit. Devices such as the slow-and-fast-motion flying blood, the hyper-colorful palette, the artistic, comic-book-frame-style fadeouts, and more all conspire to heighten the series' operatic, mythic sweep, while also making some of the series' more grisly moments easier to handle.

6) The characters are fascinating. Not a single character on Spartacus is as easily definable as he or she might seem to be at first glance. Though when we are introduced to them, they all seem to embody certain recognizable tropes or traits, they all reveal hidden depths as the series proceeds, many of which are precisely at odds with the facades they spend such careful time in projecting, for self-preservation, among other reasons. Spartacus has no white hats and no black hats; no pure, innocent heroes and no villains with souls as black as pitch. It is, instead, populated by complex, complicated human beings with their own various motives, drives, and secrets. Spartacus, in particular, is a fascinating protagonist, because it isn't often on television that we are in the perspective of a character who suffers to quite this extent, who comes so close to being completely broken, and who is only able to remain alive due to the sometimes only-faintly glimmering hope of reunion with the wife from whose bosom he was so cruelly torn. Meanwhile, Quintus Batiatus and his wife, Lucretia, owners of the ludus, are two extremely compelling villains, not only due to their love for one another but due to what they are hiding from one another, and how their various agendas both merge and conflict over the course of the series.

7) The acting is superb. As great as Spartacus' writing and production values are, it would all fall apart without brilliant actors to bring it to life, and this production is lucky to be blessed with an absolutely phenomenal cast. In the lead role of Spartacus, Andy Whitfield is incredibly passionate and strong. It's a beast of a part to play, because, as previously mentioned, he has to go through a crippling amount of trauma, psychological and otherwise, and yet even in the character's darkest moments, convince the audience that he is capable of triumphing, even when the character himself doesn't realize it. Whitfield is an extremely gifted actor, and it is very sad that he won't be able to return for another season, due to his cancer treatments, firstly because it is horribly sad when anyone contracts such an awful disease, but also because his performance is one of the main reasons the show has been so successful, and it will be very difficult at first to embrace a new actor in the role. Meanwhile, the cast also boasts the amazing John Hannah, who manages to make Quintus both kind of lovable and completely hateful at the same time, which is quite an actorly trick to pull off, and then, of course there is...

8) Lucy. Fricking. Lawless. As the sexy, conflicted, cruel, manipulative Lucretia (and that Borgia-esque name is no coincidence), I would say that the divine Lucy Lawless is giving the performance of a lifetime, but that the same can be said of practically every major television role she's had. Few if any other genre actresses are capable of such utter and complete transformations as Lawless, who plays the role without resurrecting even the vaguest ghost of a resemblance between her and Xena or Three from the new Battlestar Galactica. Looking ten times as fabulous as most actresses half her age, Lawless paints Lucretia not as a simple villain but as a woman who has learned to work behind the scenes, due to societal necessity, in order to gain and maintain power--a person who lost her innocence long ago, who longs to get it back but whose youthful dreams have given way to pragmatism. She acts what could have been a supremely campy character with subtlety and grace. Most divas in the role would have gnawed the scenery. Lawless, on the other hand, plays it straight, regularly delivering lines that could have been horrifyingly over-the-top, if given to the wrong person, but doing so in a manner as restrained as it is powerful, and in the character's darkest moments, achingly human, while also seeming, as an actress, to be having the time of her life. It is a crime that this woman doesn't have an Emmy.

9) Gay gladiators! Spartacus also must be commended not only for featuring gay characters, but for featuring gay characters who are just as strong, powerful, and masculine as the heterosexuals. They can also be just as unapologetically gruff and mean, too, and their romances are taken just as seriously (and, yes, there are depictions of gay and lesbian sex on screen, too). Furthermore, they aren't treated any differently than the other gladiators, despite their orientation, which may be the sole area of Roman society that's actually depicted as being more positively progressive than we currently are today.

10) A prequel that doesn't suck! Yes, it's true. Spartacus boasts what is practically the Holy Grail of storytelling, namely a prequel that doesn't suck. Because of Whitfield's illness delaying a second season, Stephen DeKnight and Co. decided to film a 6-episode prequel series, entitled Gods of the Arena, in the meantime. In theory, this was a great idea, except for the undeniable truth that most prequels are terrible. Imagine the surprise that ensued when Gods of the Arena premiered and lo and behold! it was actually--gasp!--good. And not just good, but excellent. It achieves that goal that all prequels strive towards but most can't reach, which is to present a story set earlier in the timeline that manages to add more to the experience of watching the original show. Despite the fact that the ending is a foregone conclusion, Gods of the Arena is actually able to maintain suspense regarding how its ending came to be. All of the characters in this prequel initially seem very different when we first meet them to the people we knew in Season 1. The prequel then goes on to answer the various questions of how they became the people they are "today"--revelations that aren't only completely in keeping with the show's established continuity but which make many of their first season actions and motivations even more understandable, in retrospect, which is practically unprecedented. The success of the production also goes to demonstrate that, even without Whitfield, the other actors, characters, and writing are strong enough to carry a show, which does hopefully indicate good news for the second season's chances of artistic success.

So, there you have it, 10 reasons why adding Spartacus: Blood and Sand to your televisual diet is all for the good. It's delicious. It's nutritious. It's full of hot Romans. What more could you possibly want?

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Rob Berg is one of our favorite reviewers. We're addicted to his write-ups, even if we aren't watching the show. He's also contributed to 5000 Episodes and No Commercials: The Ultimate Guide to TV Shows on DVD and appeared on the TV Guide Network's The 25 Greatest TV Characters of All Time. You can follow Rob on Twitter at @robwillb