Once Upon a Time: S4E3 'Rocky Road'
NY(C)C Haul

Friday Five: 5 Things I Wonder About the New TMNT Movie

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…based on the poster I spent several minutes staring at in the Tube station on the way to work yesterday.

1. How do their masks stay on? Seriously, they’re wrapped around the turtles’ heads as gently as a warm towel laid across your face at a spa. They look like a stiff breeze could blow them away. Weirdly, because the CG is just good enough, and because the fabric of the masks has been rendered very realistically, the effect highlights rather than disguises the uncanny valley of this film’s CG.

2. In our age of gritty reboots, doesn’t the original color scheme look a little… naff? I mean, really; the turtles are now all dark green and brown and… there’s, like, a dark grey background and they’re all scowling and angry, even happy-go-lucky, pizza-twirling Michelangelo, and yet. They’re still wearing bright happy colors. Also, Donatello may be wearing… glasses? In addition to his stupid ‘I’m the inventive one!’ headgear? What else can we learn about the turtles' personalities and characters from this poster? Leonardo likes to wear sticks on his chest. Michelangelo is looking up and to the side; clearly he's the group's dreamer. Also he's short. He's probably the funny one. Donatello = inventy. And... tall? And as for Raphael...

3. WTF is going on with Raphael. He is huge. He is like a turtle-balloon, inflated to super-turtle size. He’s going to pop. From anger as much as from hugeness, judging by that angry angry grimace. (In a review I read, he’s apparently super angry and also way, way bigger than the other turtles.)

4. Where’d the whole ‘Raphael is the angry one’ come from anyway? I remember being surprised by it in the original films because it sort of wasn’t there in the original cartoons. (I liked it, though; he instantly became my favourite.) Maybe they shoehorned it into the first movie to give him some personality? Oh my god, there have been so many TMNT things over the years. Comics, toys, tv show, movies, tv show (again, right?), more toys, rebooted movie franchise. Anyway! Angry Raphael. Maybe that comes from the comics?

5. I’ve never read the comics. I knew a guy in middle school who loved TMNT and had the comics; I asked to borrow them and he told me I wouldn’t ‘like them; they’re not like the cartoon.’ Which I already knew, thanks very much. But I couldn’t convince him that I wanted to read them anyway, so he never lent them to me, the end. But he did draw Leonardo in my yearbook, even though I wanted Raphael, because he could draw a bo better than he could draw sais. (It was a pretty good drawing.)

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