Pornokitsch

Thoughts Before Listening

Hallo dears. So this was recommended by a particular illustrious acquaintance. I understand that there is a lot of information aka internet words about this one, apropos which, what I can say is, I don’t know too much about it. So if this one goes all to heck, it will be the particular illustrious acquaintance’s fault, who we will hitherto refer to as Pia for short.

Thoughts While Listening

I’m really sleepy right now so I’m not sure if this is the best time to start listening to this

A dude is asking if I remember about some Eastern University keeping a heart alive for weeks on end

I don’t remember any of that happening ever

Do they mean Eastern as in the exotic, ethnic, oriental East? Or the other one?

Was this important? Does it have something to do with Trump?

Dude does not seem to be interested in my questions because this was really all about how he started thinking about what would happen if the heart began to grow

Basically this is all about the dude and his thoughts

I think hearts grow at Christmas anyway? No?

Should I have a nap?

Is he really saying grow and grow and grow over and over again or do I need to have a nap?

Imma have some candy instead brb

Ok. Here we go.

Someone is on the phone asking for Mr. Regan Fast

Mr. Regan. Fast. As in, in a great hurry. Quickly.

I may have just generally wandered off for a bit but I’m back now hai.

The gentleman asking for Mr Regan Fast is Lewis and he needs a rewrite man because the thing is still growing

The corridor is choked with living crawling flesh by golly

And Lewis isn’t drunk by golly

The little piece of flesh has grown so big that it’s jamming the building

The following righteous dudes are also jamming the building

Why won’t he believe Lewis and his story about the growing flesh that is growing? Why damnit WHY?

Illustrious acquaintance, not Pia the other one, has said that sometimes we refer to little pieces of growing flesh as children

Wtf

Now everything is weird

Anyway, I think someone has come up to Lewis and said they need to burn the building to the ground.

Why is he telling Lewis this?

Ok maybe he isn’t telling Lewis this.

Good cause Lewis has enough problems

So the guy who said they need to burn the building down is speaking with an accent? Or not really? Idk, I think what they are trying to tell us is that this is either the scientist or the bad guy

And he said the tissue is doubling in size every hour, which seems like a sciency thing to say I guess.

Soon the tissue will be free in the street

AND WHY SHOULDN’T IT BE FREE IN THE STREET GOSH DARN IT THIS IS MURICA

I’m sorry for unnecessarily drawing America into this at a time when America has enough to deal with sry America

The tissue also seems to have tentacles of protoplasm fyi

Some thunder like thing happened and then there was like the beating of a heart and then the accent/no accent guy said it was too late.

But the heart is free. So there’s that.

Ordinarily, this would be a good thing. I mean we all want our hearts to be free no? Yes we do.

The heart has tentacles of protoplasm?

Illustrious acquaintance who is not Pia has helpfully pointed out that I’m not a doctor so what the heck do I know

That’s so true

So now there seems to be a grand meeting of dudes in order to address this unspeakable and also unbelievable emergency

Someone thinks they should call the governor

What is the governor going to do about a humungous growing heart?

Illustrious acquaintance says he will use his magical governor powers.

If you google pics of magical governor powers you generally get pictures of old white dudes

Anyway.

Now a doctor is addressing this grand meeting of dudes

I think it is that aforementioned accent/no accent fellow.

So the thing is apparently a chicken heart. I knew that.

Chicken hearts have tentacles of protoplasm? I guess?

The grand meeting of dudes are flabbergasted that it is a chicken heart.

Are they annoyed that it’s a chicken heart? Where they hoping for something else? Idk dudes are very mysterious

In fact, I feel they are more mysterious than exotic people sry for my racism but lest we forget what happens when one googles ‘magical governor powers’. Lest we forget.

The doctor is helpfully describing what it means when something grows exponentially, using the example of the conveniently located chicken heart

Ok now we have cut to a scene where other dudes have decided to flood the massive chicken heart with water.

Who thought this would be a good idea?

Well there goes the water.

I don’t think the water worked.

I think the National Guard is going to try their luck now.

They are shooting at the massive chicken heart.

This doesn’t work either because the massive chicken heart has kinda absorbed the guns I guess.

Illustrious acquaintance says Chicken Heart Fry is quite nice oh the humanity you gaiz

Ok I think the doctor is being rescued now and while someone was trying to do this the ‘blasted protoplasm’ aka the massive chicken heart was sucking at the wheels of the rescue vehicle

This is a chicken heart with many different talents.

Oh it’s Lewis! From before! HAI LEWIS

The doctor is saying that the end has come and we are all going to die at the hands of a humungous chicken heart and Lewis is really sad about this

I guess this situation is sad, though it is mostly a lot of other things

Now the engine has stopped

Now they are falling into the chicken heart

Gosh.

Omg I think that’s it.

Gosh.

Thoughts After Listening

Why did they think water would be a good way to defeat a humungous chicken heart that had tentacles of protoplasm? Why did the chicken heart have tentacles of protoplasm? Why did the chicken heart have tentacles? Why was this only around 7 min long? And if I have missed something and I go back and listen again, will they tell me why the chicken heart had tentacles? Who can say?